By: SemperBroPrime
PART 1
Batgirl surveyed the exterior of the amusement park control center from afar. Something like this would serve perfectly as one of Joker’s usual haunts, but she was not after the joker tonight. She had every reason to believe that Harley Quinn and four hostages were in that building. She saw a ventilation shaft that could be accessed through the roof of the building. Keeping to the shadows she made her way closer to the building. If everything went as planned, this could be the culmination of an investigation that she, Batman and Nightwing had been on for the last couple weeks.
This had all started a couple weeks ago when the Gotham Museum of Fine Arts had reported one of their artifacts stolen: The Sword Of Damocles. While Barbara doubted that the sword was the genuine article, the theft was nonetheless significant and required investigation. They had spent the past weeks gathering evidence to narrow the list of usual suspects. Their investigation had been rudely interrupted tonight when Joker and Harley Quinn had made an appearance at the Gala For Celebration of All Beauty; an event where a variety of female celebrities had come together to advocate for body positivity.
Batman and she had halted their investigation to stop the criminals, but by the time they had arrived Joker and Harley had already fled the scene in opposite directions. Batman and Nightwing had gone in pursuit of Joker while she had tracked Harley here.
She reached the wall of the building and began the process of scaling it.
“Barbara, this is Dick, over.” She heard from her integrated earpiece.
“Please Dick, it’s Batgirl when we’re on mission.”
“Roger that, Batman and I are in pursuit, it doesn’t look like Joker has the hostages, they must be with Harley.”
“As I suspected. I’m about to bust this and the case of the Sword of Damocles wide open.”
“You think they’re related?”
“I do.”
“Also, Commissioner Gordon has confirmed the identities of the hostages. They are as follows: Dascha Polanco . . .”
“Who?”
“You know Dayonara, the pregant girlfrom Orange is the New Black?”
“Every girls knows Orange is the New Black, even batgirls.”
“Well there’s her, Demi Lovato . . .”
“Oh, I love her!”
“Yes, I’m aware. Will you let me finish?”
“Go ahead.”
“Alright so there’s Dayonara, Demi Lovato, and Teyana Taylor”
“From the Kanye West video?”
“Yes from the Fade music video.”
“Roger that. But what do they all have in common besides being guests at the Gala?”
“We don’t know yet, well, there is one thing.”
“And what is that?”
“They all have some pretty fat asses.” She could almost hear him smirking through the earpiece
“Ugh,” She rolled her eyes, “Anyway I’m about to infiltrate now, I need to be stealthy.”
“Over and out.”
Batgirl walked over to the entrance to the ventilation shaft. She examined the grate covering it, and carefully undid the screws holding it in place. Batman would often just break off these grates, but Barbara needed to be stealthy (plus she had always been slightly more subtle than Batman). She set the grate aside and climbed into the ventilation shaft. Her shoulders being much narrower than Batman’s she got in easily. Well that is until she tried to fit her large spandex covered rear through, but a few wiggles allowed her access.
“I bet Dick would’ve enjoyed the sight of that.” She thought silently.
She carefully made her way through the shaft, being carefully not to step too heavily and alert the occupants of the building to her presence. After a few minutes she saw a dim light from the ground, revealing a point of access into the building. She undid the grate and set it aside. She poked her head through the hole to get a peek at the room underneath. In the dim light she couldn’t make out anything to be wary of, and the silence revealed no goons lying in ambush. She stuck her legs through the grate. As she lowered her backside through the grate she cringed at the thought of being stuck by her fat butt and getting caught with her legs hanging from the ceiling. With a few wiggles she was able to clear the obstacle and she landed silently on the ground.
“I’m in.”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Barbara was startled by a loud noise which she recognized as the Joker’s laugh being played over the loudspeaker. Simultaneously the lights switched on, dazzling her dark-adjusted eyes. As she regained her composure she saw that she had dropped herself into a glass chamber. A chamber that was now sealing itself from the top.
“Hiya Batty girl!” She heard a voice which she recognized as Harley Quinn’s.
The villainess stepped into view, her lithe body covered in red and black spandex, and her face covered in white paint.
“Sorry baby girl but I don’t think the big guy would’ve fallen for that one!” She taunted. As she did a white gas began to fill the chamber. Barbara got a whiff of it and recognized it as knockout gas.
“Damn you Harley, I’ll- well I’l . . .”
But before she could finish the gas took it’s effect and after a spell of dizziness collapsed to the ground.
INSIDE HARLEY’S LAIR
“Is that her? Is that Batgirl?” Barbara heard a voice as she came to. Upon waking she could see the outlines of four figures tied to stools. As her senses came back to focus she recognized the figures as the hostages that had been taken from the Gala. But wait, weren’t there only three hostages? She looked closer at the fourth figure, her voluptuous dark spandex clad body being unmistakably that of Catwoman.
“Selin- Catwoman what are you doing here?” Barbara asked.
“Same as you and the rest of these ladies I suspect. I was trying to steal back The Sword of Damocles from Harley but I fell for the same trap you did.”
“Don’t worry ladies, I’ll find us a way out of here!” Batgirl said to the hostages.
“Yeah, good luck with that” The first hostage, Dascha Polanco said.
“Yeah you see you’re in kind of an ordeal.” Catwoman said.
“What do you mean? Just let me get oriented.” Barbara tried to turn her head to look around the room, but for some reason her neck wouldn’t respond. Odd, must be some after effects of the gas. Strange, she was able to move her face but was numb from the neck down.
“Harley, used the sword on you.” Catwoman responded sardonically.
“What do you mean ‘used the sword’” Barbara asked in confusion.
“The thing about the Sword of Damocles . . .” but she was interrupted by a girlish giggle.
“Aww pussycat, why explain it when you we can just show her?” Harley Quinn said, coming into Barbara’s field of view. She placed her hands on either side of Barbara’s head and lifted her up, before spinning her around and showing Barbara another stool with another bound figure. The figure was curvy and covered in black spandex, but unlike Catwoman, this figure lacked a head.
“Oh no . . .”
“Yes darlin’, that’s your body right there! And yes darlin’ I chopped off your head! Ya see The Sword is funny like that, it allows you to cut people up without hurtin’ ‘em!”
Harley threw a rope over a beam above her then lifted Harley up and tied Barbara’s living severed head to the rope with her ponytail.
“Ya know we never really get this far in our schemes with the big guy. I hardly even know what to do now that I got ya!”
Harley thought for a few seconds, before her belly made a loud audible gurgle. She put her hands to her stomach before looking at Barbara with a sadistic grin . . .
PART 2
“So bat-baby what’ll we do with ya now?” Harley said, holding Batgirl by her mask (which for whatever reason she hadn’t bothered to remove).
Barbara, still coming to terms with her predicament, declined to answer.
“Oh! I know! Wait till ya get a load of this!” Harley taunted.
As she said this she grabbed the back of Barbara’s head and turned around. Barbara was now face-to-bottom with Harley’s spandex clad rear. Harley shoved Barbara’s nose between her cheeks, wiggling her hips back and forth.
“Ha! Stinkface! How do ya like that?”
Truth be told it wasn’t that bad. Harley had a tight, bouncy gymnast’s booty and the spandex covering it was pretty soft. But Barbara wasn’t about to speak up and put herself in a worse position. As luck would have it she wouldn’t need to . . .
“Uh oh . . .” She heard Harley say, putting a hand on her stomach, “It looks like I got a present for ya!”
Still holding Batgirl’s head between her cheeks, Harley bent over and clenched her fist. Barbara could see the spandex covering her butt spread thin, revealing the black thong beneath. In fact the flexible Harley bent over so far, spreading her suit so thin that Barbara could vaguely make out the outline of her cute little booty-hole when . . .
PHHHHWUUAAAACK!!!!
The fart lept out of Harley’s ass and straight up Barbara’s nose. Even being filtered through the spandex it still possessed a distinct and sharp parmesan odor that might have even been appetizing in other circumstances.
As the sound of it stopped ringing in Barbara’s ears the sound of Harley’s girlish giggling came into to replace it. But before Barbara was ready she was hit again, this one another short honker accompanied by a similar smell.
Harley brought Barbara back to eye-level to get a look at her victims suffering.
“Ya know you’re kinda cute when you’re completely helpless and humiliated!” The villainess said with a smile, placing a kiss on her victim’s lips.
“Nasty! You just tasted your own fart!” One of the captives, Dascha, called from the sidelines.
“Oh? You wanna see tasting your own fart?” Harley replied, placing Barbara down and going to the shadow covered side of the room to get something. When she came back into view Bargirl saw that Harley now held the sword that was responsible for her current bodyless state: The Sword of Damocles.
Harley walked over to the stool that Dascha was tied to, and noticed Dascha’s rising alarm as she realized what was about to befall her. Dascha’s booty and thighs spilled over the stool she was tied to (which compared to its occupants curves was almost comically undersized.) Harley raised the sword above her shoulder and with a swift stroke cut Dascha’s head from her body. She then cut the ropes that had been holding Dascha to the stool. Incredibly, she then used the sword to cut off her own head, and transplanted it to Dascha’s now headless body!
“Ya know people always seem to forget I’m a Doctor!” Harley’s head said atop Dascha’s body, which now held Dascha’s old head, “Seeing how I just performed a full head transplant I doubt you’ll forget that little factoid anytime soon!”
Harley now placed Dascha’s head on the now empty stool, “Oh yeah wasn’t there something about you tasting your own fart?”
Harley lifted Dascha’s dress over her thick thighs and ass. She pulled down her thong and stuck Dascha’s ass in her own face!
*PBBBBBBLRBRBTBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBTBTBTB!*
The fart from Harley’s new ass was much bassier than her first couple, and her new buttcheeks clapped and rumbled together with the force that she pushed through them.
“What’s the matter? I thought everyone liked their own brand!” Harley taunted, giggling.
Barbara saw that Dascha’s eyes began to water from the fury of the assault.
“Hey! It’s me you have a problem with!” Barbara called, trying to put a brave face on a bad situation.
“Oh, don’t think I’ve forgotten about you love.” As she said this Harley sauntered over to Barbara’s head, before brandishing her rotund booty, eclipsing Barbara’s entire field of vision.
“Hnnnnnnng . . .”
*PLABABABABABABABABABRRRRRRRBLRBLRLBT*
The fart snapped, crackled and popped itself into Barbara’s helpless face for a 12-15 second duration that felt like hours. When it finally subsided it left a thickness in the air that made Barbara’s head spin.
“Whew! Ya know I love farting with my own ass, but there’s something about ripping splitters through a fat badonk like this that ya can’t beat!” Harley boasted.
“Do you always have to say everything in the most obnoxious way possible?” Barbara said as she managed to get her breath back.
“Oh ya want more do ya? How about we give you a taste of Miss Lovato?”
Harley repeated the operation that she had performed on Dascha, removing Demi’s head and replacing it with her own. This time she placed Demi’s head next to Barbara’s.
“I just wanted to let you know that I’m a big fan” Demi’s head told Barbara’s.
Despite finding her timing of this comment odd, Barbara appreciated her positivity. “Thanks, I’m a fan of yours well!”
“Enough with you two! How about we see what this booty can do?” Harley said on top of Demi’s body.
As Harley bent over Barbara couldn’t help but appreciate Demi’s smooth, creamy-vanilla thighs and backside as well as her womanly hips.
“Wow Demi since when did you get so thic-”
*FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAART*
The sound that emanated was a distinct, brassy note.
*FFFFFLLLLUUUUUUUURRT*
A similar note, but of a higher pitch this time.
“Wow, even your ass has perfect pitch!” Harley taunted the girls’ whose faces she was currently farting into.
She continued blasting the two of them until her current body had expelled all of its gas. She
Then went for a refill, placing her head on Teyana Taylor’s body.
“Ya know my regular body is in pretty good shape, but this might be an upgrade even for me!” Harley said. She tried to use her new body to imitate Teyana’s dancing in the Fade music video, bending over and popping each butt cheek individually.
She eventually twerked her ass over to Barbara face.
*PHHHHHHHHHSSSSSSSSST*
This one came as a hissing gas leak (typical of protein farts from fitness models).
“Ahhh that was a little underwhelming, but no fear, we still got tha cat!”
Harley on Teyana’s body took the sword again and made her way over to Catwoman. In a move that was now familiar to the bodyless ladies in the room Harley raised the sword in a decapitating strike. She swung the sword towards Catwoman’s neck.
From Barbara’s head’s vantage point it seemed like Catwoman had been decapitated like all the rest! But looking again Barbara saw that Catwoman’s head was still attached, she had managed to duck under Harley’s strike! Catwoman then leapt out of the chair and unto Harley, brandishing her claws that she had used to cut through the rope. Harley swung the sword down at Catwoman, but in a deft motion she was able to catch the sword between her claws, disarming the villainess!
Doing this, she in turn brandished the sword against Harley, severing her head just as the villainess had separated the heads of her poor victims.
Catwoman then set herself to replacing the heads of Harley’s victims, ensuring that they were restored to their rightful bodies.
“If you could have escaped at any time, why did you wait until Harley had farted on all of us before rescuing us?” Barbara asked.
“Oh, I had to wait for the opportune moment,” She began to say before a sly grin came to her face, “Plus it was kind of funny watching Harley blast you all in the face.”
Catoman’s stomach began to gurgle, she placed a claw hand to her belly, “Plus,” she said, pulling down her spandex pants, “Now we can all get our proper revenge on poor little Harley.”